Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Baby Peterson

I'm sure everyone who reads this blog knows that we are expecting a wee one in early July!  I'm 19 1/2 weeks...which means I'm almost half way through my pregnancy. so weird. I'm sure the weeks will start crawling when I'm as big as a house and ready to get baby out, but right now time seems to be f-l-y-i-n-g by.

I thought it was better late than never to blog about this sweet, somewhat of a surprise (at least to me) baby! It's mostly for me to record my thoughts but I thought a few people might enjoy reading it. it is. :)  My posts are always long and wordy.  I'll break it up with some pictures. :)

November 4th was the day we found out about our little bundle. It wasn't just any ordinary day because it also happened to be Ryan's 31st birthday! The timing couldn't have been more perfect and it was the best birthday present! Without Ryan's knowledge, I purchased a pregnancy test the night before.  I like to be sneaky like that.  My plan was to take it the morning of his birthday and "surprise" him with the news if it was positive, even though he was already convinced I was pregnant.  I on the other hand was still in denial.  Ha!

excited mommy and daddy to be

I woke up waaaaaaay too early on November 4th and all I could think about was taking the test.  It took awhile, but I forced myself to go back to sleep until eight because I didn't want to wake the birthday boy too early on his birthday.  He does love his sleep, you know.  :)  Even eight is early for him, but I figured it was for good reason and he would forgive me.

When I saw that the test was positive, I took a few moments to sit there and let reality sink in. To be honest, some days it still doesn't feel like it's real!  I felt a wild gamut of emotions wash over me in those few moments: extreme joy, sadness, excitement, disbelief, thankfulness, shock, and a little bit of guilt all at the same time. I wavered between crying and laughing out loud.  I wasn't sure what to do.
I crawled back into bed next to Ryan and quietly said "Soooo....happy birthday!".  He could tell something was up by the tone of my voice because his response was "what? are you pregnant?"  I laughed and said "yep!" to which he replied "are you serious?"  hahaha.  And then we couldn't stop smiling and we thanked God for this blessing.  :)  We shared the news with our parents that day, but other than that we spent a quiet day at home celebrating Ryan's birthday and our growing family!

Ryan was very excited about his birthday meal and I like to think his grin was extra big because he found out he was going to be a daddy!

about to enjoy his homemade birthday cupcake

It was fun to share our news with everyone and a little heartbreaking at the same time because I knew that my joy could be someone else's sorrow.  Don't think for one second that I'm not thrilled and thankful to be carrying this precious life in my womb. I will admit however, that when I first found out I was pregnant I struggled with feeling terrified, unprepared and like it was wrong for me to be pregnant when others who are near and dear to me have been waiting much longer than I have. Why did God allow me to get pregnant?  I know that it's not my job to understand why, because I know that God has different plans with different timelines for all of us.  His ways are better than ours. That is hard to swallow sometimes...but true.  We can dream up the most "perfect" plan for ourselves with our human minds, but usually it's not at all what God has in mind. :) The comforting thing is that we can know He has our best interest in mind and the pain and limited understanding we experience now are the makings of something absolutely beautiful and wonderful... and better than anything we could ever dream up.  Although I may never personally struggle with infertility, it has touched my life and given me deeper appreciation and sensitivity for those who do.  I'm confidant there will be other trials in my life that will require a lot of trusting and waiting, but I'm glad to know that it's only for my benefit and His grace is sufficient. 

This week we were finally able to see our baby for the first time through sonogram. I have sat in on a lot of sonograms but, wow, was it crazy to lay there and realize that I was looking at my baby on the screen.  Baby was quite active which surprised me since I haven't felt a thing yet! I was beginning to think our baby loved to sleep all the time like baby's daddy! ;)  When I mentioned that I hadn't felt any movement yet the tech told me that my placenta is in the front which isn't bad, it just means I won't feel the baby move as soon because of the extra padding there.  I loved seeing Ryan's reaction to the sono.  He was fascinated and amazed that we got to see so much and so clearly.  It made it even more real for both of us. We did end up finding out the sex that day.  We just couldn't wait one more day. :) 

For the time being Gilbert will remain the "baby boy" of the household and be a great protector of baby girl Peterson! :) 


Baby girl Peterson could share her birthday with any number of special days in July.  My brother Chris and wife Erica's anniversary is the 3rd of July, then there's July 4th of course,  and then my parent's anniversary is July 5th.  July 7th is the actual due date, which is also my dear friend Bethany and her husband Pablo's anniversary! I'm guessing that she won't be early or on time, but what do I know?

 The last couple days I have been thinking about her a lot and wondering if she will have dimples and curly hair, and Ryan's sense of humor. :)  Tonight I was baking some muffins and Ryan asked me if I was excited to teach my daughter to bake someday.  Awww.  The thought just occurred to me that she might not like to bake!  She might like to play guitar with her dad! :)  It has been so sweet to hear Ryan refer to her by name and talk about her often in the last couple days.  A handful of people know, but we're trying to keep her name a secret until she is born.

Ryan has a few words he'd like to say. A lot of people that don't really know him think that he is just weird and crazy all the time....haha.  He is....most of the time. ;)  He does have a serious side to him but it is just barely reflected in the below paragraph.  He can't ruin his weird crazy image completely, you know. ;) Also..he does know how to spell.  Spelling errors bother him.  Why he spells things wrong on purpose I will never know.   I love him....even if I am one of the only people who see his most serious and tender moments. :)

Yo. This is Ryan now. I just wanna say that I love my wife and baby girl. Now I can get double the sweets. Fo rillz. I am so happy, you all don't even know how happy I am even though I'm telling you, you just can't know, well maybe if you have a baby girl then you know.  I'm so happy. I'm serious. Here's a smiley and I don't do those :) I can't wait to meet our baby girl. She even sticked up her hand like "yo, i'm number onez!" yeah, that's my girl! So I guess she might read this someday and I want her to know that I'm serious. I love you and your mommy. God is good.


  1. Oh, Carissa! I am so happy for you and your hubby. Motherhood is a mixed muddle of emotions and I appreciate you being real about it! Keep journaling about this stage of life as you anticipate your family growing...Some day you will really enjoy looking back on that short window of time when it was just the two of you. :)

    Oh, and baby girls are *wonderful*!! Every daddy needs to have a baby girl to enjoy!

  2. I loved reading this and I can't wait to meet your baby GIRL!!! :) Love you friend!

  3. you and ryan will be great parents! it was amazing to read your thoughts and what ryan had to say. and she will be a beautiful little girl. you are very blessed.
    lots of love, alexis.

  4. Awww :) Fabulous post, my dear friend!! I am thrilled to pieces for you and Ryan....and that you're having a GIRL!!! It just couldn't be more perfect... ;) I know the Lord will bless you both as parents, and I can't wait to see what baby girl Peterson looks like, too!! YAY! :)

  5. A girl! Yeah! Oh, she is gonna be beautiful just like her momma! I am so excited for all of you....we will continue to pray for you. love, janna, miguel and micah